What to Do If You Feel Taken Advantage of as an Au Pair

Becoming an au pair in Europe is an exciting opportunity to experience a new culture, improve your language skills, and make lifelong memories. But sometimes, au pairs may feel overworked, underappreciated, or taken advantage of.

If this happens to you, it’s important to act early, protect yourself, and address the situation calmly and professionally. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help.

1. Recognize the Signs

You may be taken advantage of if you notice:

* Being asked to work far more hours than agreed in your contract

* Performing tasks outside your agreed duties, such as heavy cleaning unrelated to childcare

* Not receiving your pocket money on time

* Not getting your time off, weekends, or holidays

* Feeling unsafe, pressured, or disrespected

Tip: Keep a written record of your work hours and tasks - it can help if you need to escalate the issue.

2. Review Your Contract

Your contract is your main point of reference. Check:

* Your working hours and schedule

* Your allowances/pocket money

* Your duties (childcare vs. household chores)

* Time off and vacation entitlement

Step: Compare your current situation to what was agreed upon - this helps clarify whether your concerns are valid.

3. Communicate Clearly with Your Host Family

Start with a calm and respectful conversation. Tips for communication:

* Be specific about the issues (“I am working 10 extra hours per week beyond our contract”)

* Use “I” statements to describe how you feel (“I feel overwhelmed when…”)

* Suggest solutions or compromises, like adjusting your schedule or duties

Often, misunderstandings can be resolved through honest and polite communication.

4. Seek Support from Your Agency or Platform

If the situation doesn’t improve:

* Contact your au pair agency, program coordinator, or EuPairing support team

* Explain your concerns clearly, providing your records and contract details

* Ask for guidance or intervention

Remember: Agencies exist to protect both au pairs and host families. They can mediate, adjust arrangements, or even help you find a new placement if necessary.

5. Know Your Rights

Legal protections for au pairs vary across Europe, but generally include:

* Maximum working hours and minimum rest days

* Guaranteed pocket money or stipend

* Accommodation and meals

* Time off and holidays

Check your country’s rules, and consider seeking advice from local au pair associations or expat support groups.

6. Prioritize Your Safety and Wellbeing

If you ever feel unsafe or threatened, take immediate action:

* Leave the situation if possible and contact your agency or local authorities

* Keep important documents, emergency contacts, and identification accessible

* Seek support from friends, fellow au pairs, or online au pair communities

Tip: Your mental and physical wellbeing comes first - no placement is worth compromising your safety.

Key Takeaways

* Keep track of your hours, duties, and contract terms

* Address concerns calmly and directly with your host family

* Seek guidance from your agency or EuPairing support

* Know your legal rights in your host country

* Prioritize your safety and wellbeing above all

Being an au pair should be a rewarding, positive experience. Speaking up early when something doesn’t feel right helps protect you and ensures your placement is fair, safe, and enjoyable.

Pro Tip: Document everything - work hours, chores, and communications. It can help if you need your agency’s support or need to adjust your placement.